


A New Dawn

by Smidge



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-10 18:15:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1162934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smidge/pseuds/Smidge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Our two favourite people losing their virginity - with each other - in two AU chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Matt's Innocence

**Author's Note:**

> I saw somewhere on tumblr a long time ago, someone request a mattex fic about Matt or Alex losing their virginity. I tend to save these ideas on my laptop as file names and then eventually, when I find the time and inspiration, I get around to writing them. Hence why I'm uploading this now - I slipped over on my decking two days ago and cracked my back on the bottom step - so, although I am in considerable pain and can't move much (don't worry, it's just badly bruised with some pulled muscles-no permanent damage) it has given me a great opportunity for writing :)
> 
> So I have written one AU chapter about Matt losing his virginity - giving it to Alex.  
> And one totally different AU chapter about Alex losing her virginity - giving it to Matt.   
> (There is a little dubious consent in the beginning of the second one but please don't worry, nothing really bad happens, and Matt definitely makes up for it by the end. I promise!)
> 
> This is also to celebrate me reaching 5000 posts on tumblr (they very kindly informed me this morning).
> 
> Enjoy x
> 
> (I know nothing about the real lives of the people mentioned in this fic, this is, quite obviously, totally made up.)

“Hello sweetie,” Alex purrs as she finds her mark and awaits the cameras.

“Hey,” Matt offers her a small smile and glances away, wringing his hands.

She frowns at him and tries not to giggle, instead reaching out and catching a hand in her own. “What’s the matter, darling, I thought you’d be over the moon to finally be kissing me?!?”

They are about to film the scene of River and the Doctor’s first kiss, against the bars of her cell in Stormcage. She and Matt have been flirting up a storm ever since they discovered it in the script and she can’t deny the little thrill inside her now it’s finally here.

“What?” His eyes shoot up to hers again. “No. I mean...yes, I am... it’s just,” he drops his gaze, resigned, “I dunno.”

“Hey, come on now? You can tell me.”

He flushes and pulls his hand from hers in embarrassment, shaking his head. “Nah, Alex let’s just do this and get it over and done with, eh? Then we can forget this conversation ever happened.”

“Over and done with?” she moves away from him, taken back by his reaction. “Matt, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s fine. Just forget it,” he turns away from her and she nods, biting her lip in concern.

“Matt,” her voice is soft and he can’t help but turn back to her, “I’m sorry.”

Now it’s his turn to be confused. “For what?”

“I don’t know. Whatever it is I’ve done.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I must have done something awful for you to suddenly be acting like this around me. Unless, of course, I am so repulsive to you...it’s my age isn’t it...? It’s just acting, you know.” She doesn’t mean to sound quite so bitter, she can’t help it; she thought he found her at least a little attractive. Perhaps she was wrong.

“What?” He stares at her in shock. “No! No you haven’t done anything wrong. Alex, I’m just not...”he heaves a sigh and runs his hand through his fringe, a trait Alex has become rather fond of. “I don’t really know what I’m doing...”

“What do you mean, darling?” she tries taking his hand once more.

“I-I mean...” he pulls away again, avoiding her gaze and shaking his hands out. “I mean I haven’t really kissed many people... um... two in fact... and I don’t want to get it wrong.”

She stares at him in silence for a moment, letting this new, unexpected information sink in. “You mean... wait, only _two_? Are you serious?”

“Outside of filming, yes.”

“Ah, but you have done film kisses before?”

“Well, yes, but they’re not the same. The director tells you what to do and then you can discuss exactly what’s going to happen with your co-star before anything happens...”

“This is a filmed kiss, darling, it’s not real...”

“I know that, Alex, but he hasn’t really given us much direction.”

“No, but I’m sure he will before the cameras start rolling...”

“But that still doesn’t really give me time to think about it... or-or to discuss it with you.”

“Calm down, sweetie,” she forcefully catches both his hands in hers and holds them together gently to still them. “It’s just a kiss. I promise it will be fine. Spontaneity is more fun anyway,” she winks playfully, “trust me.”

“You guys ready?” the director calls out and Alex shouts back an affirmative, squeezing Matt’s hands comfortingly and flashing him a smile before moving back to her mark.

They’ve already shot the lead up to the kiss so all that’s needed is a couple of lines before, the kiss, and Matt’s line afterwards.

“And...action!”

Alex, as River, chuckles at his receding form.

“What? That’s it? What’s the matter with you?”

“Have I forgotten something?” he spins back to her and saunters over, but she can tell he’s still not sure of himself.

“Oh... shut up!” She reaches forward and tentatively brings him closer, feeling his shuddering breath across her lips before they meet his; god, he’s terrified. She breaks the kiss almost immediately and stares up at him in confusion.

“Cut!” the director calls. “What was that? No, no, it needs to be much longer – and Matt, wave your arms about a bit, look more awkward. Come on guys, the chemistry between you two is usually electrifying, now show it. Let’s go again.”

“C-can um... Can we have just a moment to figure out what we’re going to do?” Alex asks, her eyes never leaving Matt’s face.

“Fine. You have until the cameras are reset.”

“Matt?” she questions, ducking to catch his eye, but he refuses to look at her. “Please talk to me? What are you so scared of?”

“Nothing,” he glances at her quickly, “It’s fine, sorry. We can go again. I’m ready this time.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Yes, of course,” he throws her a beam, full of false confidence. “C’mon Kingston, let’s get it on,” he bops her on the nose and she wrinkles it and smiles, releasing a deep breath, happy that he seems to be over... whatever it was that was worrying him.

“Okay, here we go again, give me more passion. And... action.”

They run the lines again and Alex steps in, pulling him down to her by the lapel of his jacket. Their mouths meet and Alex feels his hand immediately on her shoulder, keeping her close, but not too close. She lets out a sigh of relief when she realises he seems more at ease, meaning to comfort him and show him that it’s ok; they’re fine.

“Move your hands Matt – more awkward,” the director yells at them, and Alex feels Matt’s hands leave her like lightning.

She suppresses a giggle when they soon come wandering back, one resting on her waist and the other moving to her hair. She boldly decides to deepen the kiss a little – this shot isn’t going the way the director wants anyway – and runs her tongue over his lower lip. She feels him jump beneath her hands and try to pull away. Confused once more and brow furrowed, she lets him go.

“Cut! God, what is wrong with you two? Hurry up and get it together or we’ll have to shoot this through lunch.” The director almost growls, “Take five, everybody.”

“God, Alex, I’m so sorry,” Matt shakes his head and runs both hands through his messy hair, stepping away from her once more.

“Matt, just tell me what’s bothering you and we can try and fix it.”

“I-I can’t.”

“Why not, Matt? It’s just a stupid on screen kiss. It doesn’t mean anything. I’m not actually about to jump your bones. I mean... come on... you’re acting like a bloody virgin.” She throws her hands up in exasperation. “Talk to me, Matt.”

“I... um...” he allows his eyes to meet hers slowly and she gives him a sharp, pointed look as if to say ‘I’m waiting’.

She huffs and rests her hands on her hips, biting her top lip and looking at the floor before speaking again. “Look. One kiss. Let’s get this right and then you never have to come near me again... not ‘til the next kiss Steven writes anyhow. Maybe he won’t write any more, seeing as we can’t even shoot this one. God, Matt, it’s a kiss. It’s not like you’ve never kissed anyone before – like you said you’ve kissed two off-screen – that’s pretty spontaneous. And two is rather a low amount for someone like you; come on, seriously? Two? More like _twenty-_ two. Have you only _shagged_ two? Is that what you mean?... Matt?... Just say something.”

“I haven’t... _shagged_... two girls. I’ve only kissed,” he mumbles but she doesn’t really hear him.

“Well, okay, so you’ve kissed two girls, use that experience for this kiss and we’ll be dandy. Although, they were probably amazing and full of passion and this has to be awkward on your part but anyhow. Stop acting like you’ve never had sex before and just get on with it.”

She chuckles at his silence and he just stares at the floor.

“Matt?”

“Okay,” he finally nods, “um... yeah, call him over and we’ll try again.”

She frowns at how small his voice is. He seems completely lost. Out of his depth. Eyes like a rabbit in headlights. And she swallows harshly around the lump that suddenly comes to her throat. “Matt, are you alright...”

“I’m not _acting_ , Alex,” he suddenly snaps, his voice still quiet.

“What do you mean?”

He slowly raises his eyes to hers. “You said to stop acting like I’ve never had sex before... well, I’m not acting.”

Her eyes widen and heart begins to race as she realises what he’s saying.

“You mean...?”

He nods and stares at his feet again.

“Oh, Matt...”

“No, no please don’t do that.”

“But there’s me going off on one, assuming someone of your age and... um... obvious beauty... er... would have had sex and,” she lowers her voice and steps closer to him, “You’re still a virgin?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, darling, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean what I...” she takes his face gently in her hands and lifts his eyes to hers. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well, it’s kind of embarrassing, to be honest,” he chuckles dryly.

“But you must have been so nervous about this. How did you manage with on-screen kisses in the past?”

“Well, it was a little easier ‘cause we were told exactly what to do – and I didn’t have the added pressure of fancying my co-star... which, is also not easy to admit to.” Her breath catches in her throat at that. “Especially to you.”

Her hands fall from his face and she takes a tiny step back nodding slightly. “We’re ready for our next, and final take now,” she says to the director.

“We are?” Matt’s eyes go wide and frightened once more.

“Yes, darling,” she says soothingly, “I’m going to kiss you, and it’s going to be perfect.”

“Good,” the director huffs before calling action.

“Oh... shut up,” she says fondly. Unable to keep herself away from him for another second, she wraps one hand around the back of his neck and brings their lips together once more. His hand immediately lands on her shoulder and she smiles, before he remembers ‘awkward’ and flails a little in her embrace.

Her hands slowly move across his cheeks and down his jaw and she tries running her tongue questioningly over his bottom lip. She doesn’t force it, just touches him lightly and is ready to back away if he doesn’t respond well. But he does, parting his lips slightly and allowing her to continue. She inwardly jumps for joy and swipes her thumb affectionately over his cheek before moving her hand around his waist and pulling him ever closer.

One of his hands almost tangles itself in her hair before he realises what he’s doing and consciously waves them around behind him again for the scene. She lets out a tiny giggle and feels him smile in response. She starts to pull away but feels him follow her, and the Doctor isn’t supposed to be doing that, so she pushes back against his mouth again to ensure it still looks like River is in control, and whimpers when he opens his mouth to her further.

She knows it’s a children’s show, but she’s beyond hope now, this isn’t really even River and the Doctor; it’s her and Matt. She slowly slips her tongue inside and marvels in the way he presses them even closer together, his hand on her shoulder momentarily as he moans. She squeezes the back of his jacket in her fist and almost rises onto tip toe, feeling a low burn begin in the pit of her stomach.

Well, that’s plenty enough for the viewers and the director, she suddenly thinks, desperate to keep kissing him, to teach him to kiss _her_ , to teach him... well, all sorts really... if he’s up for it. All of a sudden, knowing he’s a virgin makes her insides flip and she feels all at once both excited and guilty about the prospect of taking that from him.

She breaks the kiss, so that he can’t follow, and immediately schools her expression into one of confusion, as River.

“Right. Okay... interesting,” Matt somehow manages to remember his lines and the director’s ‘cut!’ sounds satisfied.

“See?” Alex smirks at Matt as they head out to lunch together, “that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“Are you kidding?” he chuckles, “It was utter torture.”

“Really?”

“I never wanted to stop.”

She giggles lowly at that and bites her bottom lip.

“I wasn’t kissing you as River, you know.”

“I know.”

“Were you...?”

“That was all ‘Matt’.” He assures her. “No ‘Doctor’.”

They keep walking, straight past the lunch trailer and picnic tables, too lost in their own thoughts and emotions to care about food right now.

“Matt,” she sighs his name, running her hand down him arm and into his own, curling her fingers around his.

“Alex?” he stops them and turns to her, holding both her hands in his. “You’re the only person who really knows... um... what I am...”

“You mean... a virgin?” she asks shyly.

“Yes.”

“Are you?”

“What?”

“Are you really?” she looks up at him sincerely.

He stares back into her eyes and makes his answer as honest as he can, “Yes, Alex, I’m a virgin.”

She shakes her head gently in amazement.

“What?” he asks.

“I just, can’t quite believe it. I’m sorry. You’re so...” she gestures to the whole of him, “... _you_.”

“And?”

“How have you not been snapped up? Surely no one could ever resist you?”

“Well, thank you,” he chuckles with embarrassment.

“No, I mean it, Matt, it’s honestly shocked me.”

“Well, maybe others have wanted me but I’ve just not been ready to give myself to them...”

“Oh shit, I didn’t think of that... I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he laughs and she smiles back.

“You’re not religious though, are you?”

“No.”

“But... waiting ‘til marriage?”

“No. Not specifically.”

“Then...? Oh god, Matt, I’m sorry, it’s none of my business, I shouldn’t be asking,” she buries her face in her hands in mortification.

“It’s fine, Alex. I feel like you’re the only person I’m comfortable talking to about this...”

“Really?” She looks up in surprise.

“I think I just haven’t found the right person yet, you know? Like, I think I’m ready and then when it comes to it, it just doesn’t feel right.”

“Mmm,” she bites her lip, she doesn’t entirely know what he means; never felt it herself, but then she was young when she lost her virginity. Matt’s almost twenty-eight.

“That kiss felt right though,” he interrupts her thoughts, voice an octave lower than it had just been.

She looks up at him sharply, warmth blooming in her stomach at the darkness and lust in his eyes.

“Matt,” she releases a shaky breath. Oh she wants him, so much. But she’d be his first and _that_ she’s not sure she could do. She’d ruin him. And as much as that thought thrills her, it wouldn’t be right, would it?

“Alex, please? I want you. I know I do. For once in my life I am sure of it,” he takes her hand at her silence and leads her towards her trailer.

“What? In there?” she nods towards the door.

“Yes?”

“You really want your first time to be on a sofa or against the wall of a tacky film trailer? Darling, I may not be certain about taking your virginity, but if you’re sure it’s what you really want then I _am_ certain it will not happen in there.”

“Then where?” he sounds frustrated and she can’t help her eyes from glancing down.

Confidence growing from the sight of his tight trousers, she steps in to him seductively, running a teasing hand over his crotch as she rises on her toes and whispers in his ear. “Come to my flat tonight,” she suppresses a giggle at the shiver she feels run through him, pulling back to gauge his reaction.

“What time?” he lets out a shaky breath.

“Give me an hour after work to tidy the place, and myself, up a bit and I’ll make it a night to remember,” she promises.

“Alex, I don’t think you need to tidy anything for this to be a night to remember,” he winks.

“Darling, if you’re honestly not joking with me and this really is your first time...” she pauses for his reassurance and smiles, “then I really want to make it special for you.”

He sighs and runs a nervous hand through his hair, but she catches it and brings it down to her, kissing his knuckles reverently.

“Can you let me do that for you?”

“Yes,” he pulls his hand from hers and strokes the backs of his fingers over her cheek, smiling with pride when she leans into the touch.

“Thank you, darling,” she turns her face and kisses his palm, “I’ll see you at seven then.”

“I’ll look forward to it.”

“You’d better.”

As soon as she gets home from work she pours herself a glass of wine and downs half of it before changing her mind. If they’re really going to do this then she wants to be sober. And he’d better still be sober too; she doesn’t want to feel like she’s taking advantage of him. Oh god, what is she doing?

Even if he wasn’t a virgin she’d be having her doubts, this sort of thing changes relationships; it can ruin friendships, she cherishes what she currently has with Matt and doesn’t want to lose him. But oh how she wants him. She has done for a while now, in the back of her mind she’s realised how her constant flirting and frequent touches have had intent behind them, she’s just never let it show. Why would she? She’d have just made a fool of herself. No one like Matt would ever be interested in someone like her. Except... he is. For the first time in his life he is interested enough in someone that he wants to take the plunge and sleep with them, and it’s her he’s chosen.

But she has to be absolutely certain it’s what he wants. Before anything happens. She must ascertain exactly what he wants to do and not overstep any boundaries. Once they do this, he can’t go back.

She changes her mind another three times as she changes her bedclothes and washes the dishes. Then again when she takes a shower; making sure to clean and shave before drying off and smothering herself in her favourite cocoa-butter moisturiser. She wonders how much effort she should put in to what she wears; would he like her in a corset and frilly underwear with stockings and suspenders and heels? She’s sure he’d appreciate that, but then he wouldn’t appreciate being so turned on that it was all over before it started. No. Perhaps not then. Maybe she shouldn’t dress up at all, make it look like she’s not expecting anything... but then she has asked him over and made the reason pretty clear, it would look like she didn’t care. She finally settles on a nice lacy pair of matching underwear with jeans and a loose jumper over the top; casual and comfy but still a little sexy.

She’s just fluffing her hair in the mirror and applying a tiny dash of lipstick when the doorbell rings and butterflies take wing in her stomach.

“Here goes,” she nods at herself in the mirror before moving to open the door.

Her breath catches at the sight of him and she sincerely hopes he hasn’t changed his mind. She’s not sure why the sudden change in her, he looks like he always does, in skinny jeans and an old band t-shirt, his leather jacket and converse boots; hair flopping adorably across his forehead.

“Hi,” he waves awkwardly and Alex jumps into action.

“Oh, come on in, darling,” she beckons him inside and closes the door behind her before wringing her hands together nervously.

He shucks his jacket off and Alex hangs it up as he steps out of his shoes.

“Have you eaten? Or would you like to... um... order something?” she asks hesitantly. Come on Alex you’re supposed to be the confident one. She’s sure once she knows exactly what he wants that she’ll soon forget her nerves and enjoy herself. She’s usually so relaxed around him.

“Um no, thanks. I mean... I’ve eaten.”

“Okay.” Progress. “Drink?”

“God yes.”

She smiles. “What would you like?”

“What have you got?”

“Um... I have...” she beckons for him to follow her into the kitchen, “water, orange juice, lemonade... tea, I suppose...”

“Anything a little stronger?”

She bites her lip at the hope in his voice before turning to him seriously. “Darling, I don’t think we should _drink_ anything tonight. I mean, if we’re... you know... if you’re sure that’s what you want to do. You definitely want... well, _me_? And it’s your first time. I think we should be sober.” She risks glancing up at him. “Don’t you agree?”

He just stares at her and she has a sudden dreadful feeling that she has read him completely wrong and has just made a huge fool of herself. Until, he leaps into action, grabbing her hand and dragging her out of the kitchen, spinning them with a grace she never knew he possessed and pushing her down none-too-gently onto the sofa in her living area.

“Matt?” she giggles, breathless.

“Shh,” he grins and leans down over her, cupping her jaw with one hand before bringing their mouths together.

She moans lightly into the kiss and wraps her arms around his neck, bringing him between her legs and pulling him down on top of her.

“Alex,” he pulls back suddenly.

“Shit, sorry, darling. Slow and gentle, I can do that. In fact, why don’t you take the lead.”

He chuckles. “That’s not what I was going to say.”

“Oh.”

He takes the seat beside her and she shuffles up into a sitting position as he runs a finger anxiously up and down her thigh.

“I want you to know,” he starts off slowly, not looking her in the eye, “that I am sure of what we’re about to do. I do want this, Alex, with you. So, please, don’t feel bad about it, or, guilty or whatever. Someone’s got to be my first. I kinda wish I’d had someone else to practise with before you,” he smiles self-depreciatively and she giggles, “but I can’t think of anyone I’d rather be with tonight.”

“Oh darling,” she runs her hand across his cheek, “you say the nicest things.”

“So do you.”

She worries her lip and looks down at their entwined hands in her lap – when did that happen? – before smiling, taking a deep breath and looking directly at him.

“Where would you like me?”

“What?” he looks a little shy and lost and she takes pity on him.

“I would suggest the bedroom, it’s usually the most comfortable,” she winks playfully and rejoices in his winning smile.

“Sounds good to me.”

“Come on then,” she stands and holds a hand out to him, helping him off the sofa.

She gets the overwhelming urge to cry on their way down the hall and she bites her lip against the sudden emotion, stopping abruptly, causing Matt to bump into her and she giggles; although it must come out more like a sob as Matt shows her concern.

“Alex, are you alright? You don’t have to do this for me if you don’t want to...”

“Oh, shut up,” she repeats River’s line from earlier, pressing him gently against the wall and kissing him. She doesn’t take her time and her mouth is insistent against his, her hands roaming his torso before finding the hem of his shirt and pulling it up his chest.

“Alex?” he breaks away and stills her hands, ducking to look her in the eye.

“I want to, Matt. I really want to. I wanted to even before you told me about...”

He cuts her off, kissing her back briefly before finishing what she started, dragging his top over his head and throwing it behind her. She rises on her toes and pecks him on the lips before taking his hand again and pulling him through the bedroom door, kicking it shut behind her.

He presses her against it, claiming her mouth and rolling his hips against hers. They moan in unison and Alex clutches him to her.

“Matt,” she pants, “wait. Stop. You have to slow down, darling.”

“You’re not a virgin too are you?” he jokes and she chuckles.

“Far from it, sweetie,” she quirks a brow and his eyes darken.

“I want you.”

“I know.” She gently pushes him off her and towards the bed. “Lie down, darling.”

“Do I have to?”

“Please?”

He does as she asks. She can tell he’s still nervous. She needs to calm him down or he’ll fight her the whole time and it won’t be enjoyable for either of them.

She smiles at him as she takes in the lines of his chest, kneeling on the edge of the bed and running her hands down the path her eyes had just taken, only stopping once she reaches his belt.

“Alex?”

“Shh, darling” she leans over and kisses him languidly as her fingers deftly work to undo his belt and trousers. “Take them off and then get under the covers.”

He gives her a curious look before doing as she asks. Then she undoes her own jeans, and pulls off her socks before sliding in next to him in only her underwear and baggy jumper.

She rolls on her side to face him and strokes a gentle hand over his jaw before kissing him again. She takes it slowly, keeping him calm and reassuring him that there’s nothing to be afraid of. His hand lands on her waist and his fingers draw tiny circles there as he lets her set the pace. She soon feels the fire in her belly and needs more; she just needs to feel his touch on her skin. But she doesn’t want to scare him.

“Touch me, darling,” she breaks the kiss and his eyes go wide.

“What?”

“Anywhere. Don’t worry about it, don’t even think about it. Just carry on doing that...” she places her hand over his on her waist, before moving it down, under her jumper and back up again, “only, on my skin, rather than through my jumper.”

“O-okay.”

She smiles comfortingly and focuses on kissing him again.

It’s not long before she feels him wander a little. His fingers brushing over the base of her ribs and down to her hip and she grins into the kiss as encouragement.

He stops suddenly as his hand comes across the fabric of her bra and she pulls away to look up at him.

“It’s alright, darling, I want you to touch me – everywhere – if I’m lucky.”

“But I don’t want to do it wrong.”

“I don’t think you could do it wrong, darling,” she strokes his cheek.

“And I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt me.”

“I just, I’m not sure...”

“Here,” she rests her hand over his again and decides to guide him, “let me help you. There’s no need to be nervous, darling. I’m not going to get cross or upset if you do something I don’t like. It’s how it all works. No one instinctively knows what another person likes and dislikes, you have to communicate, let each other know if something feels good or feels bad. And trust me, there is not a lot that I don’t like, so please, stop worrying.”

“Okay,” he lets out a deep breath and moves their hands boldly upwards over her bra clad breast, removing it like it had burnt him when she gasps in response. “Sorry! Sorry, I-I... I’m sorry.”

“No! No, darling, I just wasn’t expecting you to be that confident. It’s fine. It’s _more_ than fine; trust me; that was a good gasp. If something hurts me I’ll make sure you know, but I highly doubt you can cause me harm.”

“Really?” The look he gives her is so uncertain she covers his hand again and moves it over her breast, where it had been moments before.

“Yes. Please, darling.”

She notices his breathing become more rapid and smiles up at him, before squeezing his hand in hers, causing him to gently squeeze the flesh of her breast and she sighs.

She wriggles out of his grasp to sit up and promptly pulls her jumper over her head, throwing it across the room and turning back to Matt. She bites her lip at the sight. She’d pulled the covers back as she sat and his beautiful lean stomach is now on show, narrowing down to protruding hip bones and lovely stripy blue boxer shorts, sporting a rather splendid erection.

She licks her lips subconsciously and glances back up to see him staring at her in much the same way and heat pools deep in her stomach.

“Come here,” he says softly, reaching out to her, and she lowers herself next to him, her chest and shoulders over him as her mouth meets his. “I can’t believe I was nervous about kissing you this morning. You are absolutely the most beautiful creature I have ever met.”

She giggles. “Mutual, darling.”

“Touch me?”

“Happily, sweetie,” she runs her hand slowly and sensually down from his shoulder, across his chest and the plains of his stomach and over his hip. “Are you sure?” she questions seriously as his muscles twitch beneath her fingertips.

“Will you stop asking me that and just do it?!? Please. Yes, I’m sure,” he replies, a little exasperated.

She giggles, “As you wish,” before dipping her hand beneath the material of his boxers.

He sucks in a sharp breath as her fingers brush against him and she worries her bottom lip as she watches his reactions. She strokes him tenderly with a couple of fingers before pulling back and hooking them into the elastic of his shorts, motioning for him to lift his hips as she drags them down his legs.

“Are you alright?” she checks.

“Fine.” He states, a little breathless. “Naked! But fine.”

She giggles at that, her tongue between her teeth. “Well, you know, there is a way you could make it even,” she raises her eyebrows pointedly.

“I know.” He grins, but doesn’t move to remove her of her underwear. So she resumes what she had been doing before, taking him in hand this time and gently squeezing.

“Jesus Christ,” Matt’s hips buck into her hand and she eases off a little.

“Just ‘Alex’, darling.”

“Shut up, you wench,” he chuckles, “Do that again?”

“Are you s...”

“Yes. I’m sure. I liked it. It’s good to communicate, right? It’s something I like. Please, do it again.”

“Alright, alright.” She chuckles. “What about this?” She doesn’t tighten her hand, but rubs it up and down his shaft a couple of times, smiling as he moans in delight.

“Yep, that’s good too. I like that.”

“Most men do, darling.”

“What do _you_ like then?” He sits abruptly, brushing her hand away and pushing her back into the mattress.

“L-Lots of things,” she stutters at the sudden change.

“Like what? Tell me, Alex, I want to please you.”

“Oh, darling, don’t you think we should just concentrate on you tonight?”

“Are you kidding? I want to touch you as much as you want to touch me. Can’t let you have all the fun.”

“Well, if you insist...”

“I do. Now, tell me what you like or I’ll just have to start experimenting.”

“Well now, someone’s found their confidence,” she winks, her heart pounding, “Experiment all you like, sweetie.”

He swoops in to kiss her, both hands immediately landing on her breasts and she arches into his touch, running dainty hands up and down his back as he massages her.

“Is this good?” he asks between kisses and she nods, making an affirmative noise in the back of her throat. “Could be better?” She shrugs and he breaks the kiss. “Alex? Tell me...”

She arches her back and wriggles a hand behind her to undo the clasp of her bra, dragging the straps slowly down her arms before flinging the garment to the side. She smiles as he stares at her, before she replaces his hands and pulls him in for more kissing.

She moans as he continues massaging her, now bare, breasts, feeling her nipples pebble with arousal. He moves one hand down her torso, flicking his thumb briefly over the pert nub and making her gasp before curling his fingers around her ribs. He breaks away from her lips and kisses across her jaw, down her neck and across her chest, until he comes across her breast, nipping lightly and circling the bud with the end of his tongue.

“Oh, Matt,” she breathes his name and weaves her fingers into his hair.

“That good, eh?” he asks cheekily and she pulls on his hair until he leaves her skin and looks at her.

“Absolutely,” she replies and leans up to kiss him once more.

“Does the other one like the same attention?” He asks rhetorically, already kissing his way across her chest to the other breast. “Apparently so,” he muses in awe as she groans. She’s so turned on and she knows he’s a virgin but he’s moving too slowly.

She runs her hands down his back, over his delectable arse and pulls his hips into hers, causing him to gasp and then moan and she bites her lip, a plea in her eye. She really hopes he doesn’t get scared away. She needs him so badly.

“Darling, please. You need to at least touch me down there, if not...” she sighs, trying to reign herself in, “I don’t want to rush you, or frighten you by pushing you too far. But it’s been a while for me and you’re amazing and I just... oh god, I want you so badly.”

She slips her hand down over his hip and round the front, running her fingers over his cock, a little faster and tighter than she had earlier.

He bucks down into her hand and groans, dropping his head to her chest. She drops a kiss against his temple and he lifts his head again, looking deep into her eyes.

“Alex, I can’t hold out if you keep doing that...”

“Then take my knickers off me, darling, and put your hands on me.”

“With pleasure,” he grunts and pulls out of her hand before ducking under the duvet and hooking his fingers into her knickers. Her stomach flips at the sight of him disappearing under the covers, before she lifts her hips and helps him rid her of all remaining clothing. She pulls him down to her as soon as he re-emerges kissing him and taking his hand in her own, guiding it down to the heat between her legs. “Oh, Alex,” he moans, “you feel so good.”

She whimpers and bucks her hips trying to get him to apply more pressure and move, teaching him what and where everything is, where she is most and least sensitive, where she likes his fingers to rub circles, where she likes them inside her and she feels the fire inside her start to lick up under her skin.

She pushes two of his fingers inside her and he boldly takes over at her enthusiastic groan, rubbing gently. She lifts her hands to cup his face and kisses him messily as she rolls her hips and encourages him deeper. He’s a fast learner and soon gets the message, sending his fingers deeper inside her but still rubbing gently.

“Harder, darling, please,” she begs between kisses and he applies a little more pressure. But it’s not enough.

She moves one hand back down to his, as her other hand tangles in his hair, wrapping her fingers around his wrist and pulling his fingers almost all the way out before pushing them back in sharply. She does it again and arches her back, gasping.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he warns.

“You won’t, sweetie. Please? That’s harder. Also deeper...”

“Still?”

“Yes, oh god, yes. Harder, deeper, faster and apply a little more pressure where you’re rubbing and I promise you won’t hurt me. In fact, you’ll do quite the opposite,” she sighs, “Please? But stop if it hurts your wrist or anything...”

He looks into her eyes and notes her sincerity before surging forward and claiming her lips once more, moving his fingers in and out of her harder and faster, like she’d shown him; as deep as he can comfortably go, and rubbing circles with his fingertips every time before he pulls out. His wrist starts to ache quite quickly but he notices the movement of her hips against his hand become more frantic and her breathing becoming laboured and he pulls back to give her air and to watch her.

She positively writhes beneath him, and if she hadn’t promised him otherwise, he’d think he was hurting her. Her moans increase in volume and frequency and a proud smile graces his face as he watches her hurtle closer and closer to climax.

“Oh god, darling, that’s so good,” she manages to pant, “please don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” he promises, even though there is a burn in his wrist; he wants this, wants to see her come undone in his hands. He’s never seen it happen before and is at once both fascinated and terrified.

She groans deep and loud in the back of her throat, her arms flying out to grab the sheets in her fists before her body shudders and she almost screams, her eyes rolling back and back arching. She looks beautiful.

Matt slows down and applies less pressure, easing off to allow both her and his wrist to recover and she slowly stops writhing and opens her eyes to him.

“How was that?” he asks shyly.

“Oh my god, darling, that was incredible,” she pants, her body still trembling with aftershocks.

“Was that...? I mean, did you... er... come?”

She smiles affectionately at him and pulls him down for a sweet kiss, “Yes, darling, I came.”

“That’s amazing.”

“What is?”

“What you did? What you can do? Your body... you’re so beautiful, Alex.”

She’s not usually one to be shy about her body but the way Matt speaks about her makes her want to crawl under the covers and curl up and hide forever. He’s so sweet and he doesn’t even know it. He’s apparently never brought a woman to orgasm before, but that was wonderful.

“Are you sure you’ve never done that before?”

“Yep, sure. I think I’d remember.”

“I’m sure you would.”

“Do you... um... are you still alright for me to... you know... um... I mean,” he huffs and drops his head and she chuckles in delight. “Just let me know if and when you’re ready for _me_... if you know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean, darling,” she fondly strokes fingers through his floppy hair. “And I’m ready whenever you are.”

He lifts his head and his dark eyes meet hers. “Are you sure?”

“That’s _my_ question. Yes, I’m sure, darling. As long as you are?”

“I’m definitely sure,” he beams. “I wanna do that to you again and have it happen to me at the same time.”

She giggles. “Well, it doesn’t always happen at the same time, sweetie, but we can see how it goes.”

“Okay, so, do we need anything...?”

“Like?”

He rolls his eyes and sighs. “Condoms?”

“You’re definitely a virgin?”

“Yes.”

“So, you’re clean?”

“As far as I’m aware.”

“So am I, so, no.”

“No...?”

“We don’t need condoms, darling, I can’t get pregnant and I trust you implicitly.”

He bends his head to kiss her again and she slides her hand down his body until she can wrap it around him, pumping three times and chuckling when he groans – he’s so sensitive – before guiding him to her entrance.

“Are you absolutely, one-hundred percent ready and sure you want to do this, darling? There’s no going back.”

“Right here, right now, _you_ are the only person I’ll ever want to take my virginity from me.”

“That’s a good enough answer for me,” she sighs before bringing his lips to hers and shifting her hips. He moves at the same time and excruciatingly slowly, he slides in. She guides him with a hand on his lower back and doesn’t let him stop until he is completely buried inside her.

He breaks the kiss with a deep, satisfied moan and she stifles a giggle. He feels so good inside her; she’d never imagined they would fit together so well. She bites her lip and he begins to move.

She feels warm and silky and wet and tight around him, unlike anything he could have ever imagined and as soon as he starts to move he decides he never wants to stop. Until he feels a familiar burning heat in his abdomen – he may be a virgin but he has used his hand before – and suddenly realises this is going to be over all too quickly. He’s finally inside a woman, and not just any woman but Alex Kingston; she’s his and he could not be more overjoyed.

“Alex,” he grunts, “you feel amazing.”

“You like it then?” she asks, breathless.

“Sex with you is all I want to do for the rest of forever,” he states euphorically.

“Well, let’s just get through your first time to start with shall we darling?” she suggests, rolling her hips against his thrusts.

“Is it good for you?”

“Yes,” she nods vehemently, “just don’t stop.”

He chuckles, a little embarrassed, “I’m not going to be able to go very much longer.”

“That’s fine, darling, I’m close again already.”

“Really?”

“I think it must be you?”

“What do you mean?”

“No one else has made me come that quickly before, and now you’re about to make me come again.”

“But you’ve been married...”

“Twice.”

“And no one...?”

“Nope. Oh, darling, please, we can talk after...” she wraps her legs around him and pulls him close, changing the angle slightly so that his pelvis scrapes across her clit on each stroke and he gets deeper inside her.

“Oh, Alex, you’re so perfect.”

“Fuck,” she swears as her insides start to flutter around him, “Matt, so are you.”

She squeezes her eyes shut as she feels her orgasm approaching fast but opens them again when he requests it, unable to deny him the pleasure of watching her as she falls apart in his arms.

He grunts and groans and his hips become more frantic as he loses rhythm, getting closer and closer to orgasm until it is on top of him and taking over and he just can’t hold back any longer; swearing and shouting her name as he fights to keep his eyes open.

Seeing him lose it and feeling him come deep inside her for the first time sends her over the edge once more and she screams her release, her eyes never leaving his until he collapses over her, completely spent.

She strokes her hands soothingly up and down his sweat-slicked back, enjoying the feel of his weight over her, until he apologises, pulls out and rolls off her. She mourns the loss immediately and curls into his side, pillowing her head on his chest.

“Are you alright?” She asks him quietly once their breathing is more or less under control.

“Never felt better,” he replies and she lifts her head to find him beaming at her, a sparkle in his eye that she’d never seen before and she smiles back.

“You don’t regret it then?”

“Not in a million years.”

“Would you maybe like to do it again in the morning?” she asks hesitantly, “I know it’s kinda soon and you’ve only done it once but...”

“Yes!” He rolls her under him and kisses her. “I’d like to do it again and again and again.”

She giggles, “Darling, you have the rest of your life to do it again and again and...”

He cuts her off with another kiss. “You’ve changed my life, Alex.”

“I know,” she worries her lip, “I only hope you never come to regret it.”

“I won’t.”

“You can’t be sure...”

“I am sure. Alex, I am perfectly happy – in fact, I’m rather ecstatic about what we just did. I am never going to regret having done it, and definitely never going to regret having done it _with you_. You’re the best person I could have hoped for.”

“Did I ever tell you, I’m rather fond of you?”

“Not in those words exactly, but I think there were some sounds you made in there somewhere tonight that practically meant the same thing.”

“Oh, you cheeky...” she swats at his chest playfully and kisses him again, rolling them so they’re laying beside each other, wrapped in one another’s arms. “I’m glad,” she finally sighs.

“Glad?”

“You don’t regret it. Because I certainly don’t.”

“I’m glad too. Don’t want to have to deal with you feeling guilty when it’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.”

“If you think that was the best, darling, you just wait until tomorrow. I have so many tricks to show you.”

“Ah, promises promises, Kingston,” he teases and she pecks him on the lips before settling into his side and they both fall asleep dreaming of learning and teaching, of soft touches and of tender words, of being tangled in bedsheets and each other and never letting go.


	2. Alex's Innocence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's first time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still a little unsure about posting this - not entirely sure what you all thought of the last chapter (Matt's first time). But here goes!
> 
> Please heed the warning I mentioned in the first chapter notes about this one.
> 
> Enjoy x

“He’s a good man, he’s patient with me but I’m just not sure how much longer he’ll put up with me. Matt, I just need some advice. What do I do?” Alex asks her good friend for relationship advice.

“I’m not sure I’m the one you should be talking to about this, Alex. Have you told Ralph any of this?”

“No. Course not. He doesn’t know I’m still a virgin.”

“Well, I think you should tell him. Then maybe he’ll back off a little; take the pressure off you, then you’ll come to him when you’re ready and it’ll be more...”

“More what?”

“Pleasant?”

“Or, he’ll back off _completely_ and not want to be with me anymore.”

“Alex...”

“Maybe I’m just being silly and I should let him do what he wants with me. I mean, he’s been with three girls before me, and I know he took their virginity, so why not let him take mine?”

“Don’t let him if you’re not ready.”

“Well, maybe I am ready.”

“Are you?”

“I don’t know. How do you know?”

“If you don’t know, then you’re probably not. Look, Alex, you’re young, you have your whole life ahead of you, full of men who’ll want to be with you. Don’t rush into anything. You can’t take it back once it’s done.”

“Yeah, but if I have my whole life ahead, full of men, I don’t want to stay an inexperienced little virgin, do I? I should get the practise in while I can.”

“Well, that’s not really the right way to look at it...”

“It’s just...” she huffs, exasperated at herself more than anything, “he kisses me, and it’s nice, you know, until his hands wander – as soon as he grabs my bum I feel uncomfortable, but I let him ‘cause that’s what girlfriend and boyfriend do. Right? Then on the occasional night when I do end up staying late and sleeping over, he lies really close – drapes his arm over me – and I can’t breathe and I feel hot and trapped.”

“Alex, it doesn’t sound to me like you should be with this guy...”

“Sometimes, in the mornings, it’s really nice; he kisses me gently, and holds me, and strokes his fingers over my stomach – it tickles, but it’s nice. I just wish I didn’t get so self-conscious and uncomfortable when he strokes higher up... or...”

“Or?”

She bites her lip and looks up at him over her hot chocolate, “...further down.”

He looks away and takes a large gulp of his coffee.

“I always catch his wrist and tell him I’m not ready. He usually kisses me and says it’s fine, but I can tell, sometimes, he wants to just keep going regardless.”

“I can’t listen to this.”

“What? Matt, I need your advice...”

“I’ve given you my advice, Alex, you’re a very good friend and I don’t want to see you get hurt. But I can’t help you when you’ve already made up your mind.”

“I haven’t.”

“Okay, you want my advice? Wait. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with just because your boyfriend wants you to. That’s not right. It’s your virginity, Alex, you can’t get it back once it’s gone.” He stands and makes to leave the cafe.

“Matt?” Her voice wobbles but he just keeps walking. “But, what if he leaves me?”

Back at the flat she is staying in for the duration of her education at RADA, Alex makes herself a cup of tea and starts looking over her latest script. She has the whole afternoon free and absolutely no plans. Coffee with Matt didn’t last as long as she’d hoped, they really had loads to catch up on but as soon as she started talking about Ralph he seemed to close up.

She’s been with Ralph for almost three months now; he asked her out in her second week at RADA. He’s a year above her; the same age as Matt. Everything was fine between them, she was amazed that he would want to go out with someone like her when he had almost every girl in the school after him, so she accepted and felt like maybe they could actually be something together.

The troubles only came when he started asking for more from her. He didn’t say what he wanted, but he made it obvious enough and it caught her off-guard and made her uncomfortable. Having never been with a man before, she wants to take her time and make sure it’s right.

There’s a knock on her door a few hours later. Her flatmates have a key, so, who would be visiting her now?

She opens the door to her boyfriend – she likes calling him that; it makes her feel grown-up – leaning nonchalantly against her doorframe.

“Ralph?” she smiles.

“Hey babe, you mentioned you had the afternoon off and I’ve just finished my last class, so I thought I’d come on over and see if we could think of something fun to do,” he invites himself in, brushing past her and hanging his coat over a chair, kicking his shoes off before dropping onto her sofa and beckoning her over.

She closes the door and obeys his gesture, giggling as he pulls her down into his lap.

“Miss me?” he asks cockily before kissing her.

She chuckles. “How’s your day been?”

“Oh, boring.” He waves the question away. “Until now.”

He tips her off his lap as he continues to kiss her, laying her across the sofa and crawling up over her.

“Ralph?” she warns with a gentle hand to his chest.

“I just wanna kiss my girlfriend.”

So he does.

And she lets him.

They make out for what seems like hours. The music Alex had playing in the background long since stopped and the light outside the window dimming.

“Alex, baby,” he breaks the silence, “could I stay with you tonight? My flatmates brought a girl over and I do not want to listen to that all night.”

“Um, sure... of course,” she nods, but dread floods her veins immediately.

“Thanks babe,” he kisses her again but she pushes him off her.

“We should eat something.”

“Nothing tastier than you, love.”

“Ralph!” She means to chastise him, but as soon as she reaches the kitchen, he is behind her and pressing her against the counter. “Ralph, please?”

“What is it baby? Tell me what you want?” he breathes by her ear before kissing down her neck.

“I-I want...” she waves him away, ducking out from his arms and moving to her cupboards, “I want food.”

“Doesn’t look like you have much,” he chuckles.

“Rachel was supposed to go shopping yesterday,” she groans, rolling her eyes.

“Maybe we should just skip food,” his hands are around her waist once more.

“No. Ralph, I’m hungry...”

“So am I,” his eyes gleam and darken; his tone suggestive.

“Not like that.”

“God, woman, you’re never hungry _like_ _that_ ,” he pushes her away in frustration.

“I’m sorry, Ralph, I’m just not ready.”

“So you keep saying.”

“I-I...”

“Are you ever going to be ready? You gonna make me wait ‘til we’re married first? ‘Til I’m dead, maybe? I can’t wait for you forever, you know. A man has needs. You’re my girlfriend. You’re supposed to fulfil them.”

“I-I know, I will... just, not yet, alright?”

“Fine.” He snaps and storms out of the room.

She hears a door slam.

She sighs and leans her head against the cupboard door. Why is she so afraid? What is there to be scared of? All the girls she knows who have had sex say it’s amazing. So why is she so hesitant about joining in the fun? She’s being ridiculous. She knows she is. She should just get the first time over and done with so that she no longer has this label stuck to her and can start enjoying herself. Yes. That’s what she’s going to do. The next time Ralph tries to start something, she won’t stop him.

She nods to herself before grabbing a bottle of wine from the fridge and pouring herself a glass.

Later that evening she sneaks into her room to find Ralph passed out across the bed. She strips off down to her underwear and slides under the covers next to him, pushing him a bit until he rolls over and gives her enough room. She doesn’t sleep well, too busy mulling over her decision to sleep with him and worrying about when it’ll happen and what it’ll be like.

She wakes in the morning with his arm around her waist and his morning erection pressing into her back. She immediately feels hot; not in a good way, and wants to escape. But her stirring must wake him as he tightens his grip on her and buries his face in her hair.

“Morning,” she tries for sleepy and sweet, yawning and rubbing her eyes as she rolls to face him.

“Hey sexy,” his voice is low and gruff and his hand wastes no time in stroking over her bare stomach.

“You sleep ok?”

“Had a damn hot dream about you,” he states with a wink, “I wonder if you’ll ever live up to my expectations.” He kisses her and she wants to wriggle away and hide. But she doesn’t. “When are you going to let me love you, Alex?”

“Love me?” she gasps, eyes wide. He doesn’t mean... Does he?

“Let me show you what you mean to me.”

That doesn’t really answer her question.

“What do I mean to you?” she asks hesitantly.

“So much. Alex. You’re brilliant.” His hands start to wander. “Let me show you.”

She takes a deep breath and holds it for a second. This is where she would normally get uncomfortable and push him away. She lets the breath go. She is uncomfortable. But maybe that’s what happens at first. She should just let him continue and see how it goes.

She bites her lip.

His fingers circle her bellybutton and she tries not to jump when it tickles, then he strokes them ever higher as he kisses her. He reaches her ribcage and she feels everything inside her tighten and want to fight against his touch, but she keeps herself under control and lets him continue.

She wants this.

She does.

His tongue forces its way into her mouth and she furrows her brow in disgust, trying hard not to bite him or push him away. She hates when he does that.

She’s suddenly distracted when his thumb brushes over her bra; she’s never let him get that far before. She gasps and he moans, hurriedly cupping and squeezing her breast in his hand once before pulling the strap and cup of her bra down and squeezing her bare breast.

She moves her head to the side to catch her breath and swears.

“That’s it baby,” he kisses down her neck, now that he can’t get to her mouth, until he reaches her chest and kisses her nipple, sucking it into his mouth and squeezing her other breast with his hand. Setting it free like the first one, he reaches behind her and unclasps her bra, removing it from her completely.

“Ralph. Please...?” she means to say stop, but she can’t get the words out. Taking it as permission, he moves his head to the other breast and sucks, hard enough to leave a bruise. Her hands fly to his head and she tugs at his hair to get him off her.

He surges up to kiss her again, grabbing her wrists in his hand and pinning them above her head.

“What do you want baby? You want me? You finally ready to give me what I want?”

She shakes her head vehemently but his free hand is already making its way down her body.

“No,” she manages to let out just before he covers her mouth harshly with his again. She feels his fingers trace her skin, just above the waistline of her knickers, causing her muscles to jump.

She doesn’t like it.

She’s changed her mind.

She’s not ready.

“There’s a good girl,” he hums patronisingly as his fingers slip beneath the fabric.

“Ralph. No. Stop. Please.” She pants and brings her knees up, closing her thighs together tightly so his hand can’t move any further.

“What?”

“Please stop,” she shakes her head, apology in her eyes as her chest rises and falls rapidly, “I’m not ready.”

“You seemed pretty ready to me,” he snaps, sitting up abruptly and pulling the duvet from her.

“I thought I was...” she starts, her voice tiny.

“Then what’s the problem,” his hands are on her legs and he tries to pry them apart.

“No. Ralph, I’m _not_ ready. I thought I was, but I just can’t do it.”

“Let my hand between your legs and I’ll tell you if you’re ready, Alex.”

“Excuse me?”

“Let’s see how wet you are for me,” he pulls her knees apart and presses his hand over the crotch of her knickers. She sits bolt upright, shivering in the cool air of the room and tugging on his wrist.

“Please, Ralph, stop it.”

“Soaked,” he states with menacing glee. “Your little cunt is so ready for me, Alex, let me have it.”

“No!” She pulls on his wrist harder as he starts to rubs circles with his fingers. “Stop it!” She leaves her efforts on pulling his hand away in favour of slapping him, hard, across the cheek.

It has the required effect, his hand leaves her knickers; in favour of hitting her back.

She flies across the bed, a hand to her face and a tear running down her cheek.

She doesn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Not even glancing at him before scrambling from her bed, grabbing jeans and a big jumper and fleeing from the room. She hops into her jeans as she runs down the hall, slipping her feet into untied converses and throwing her jumper over her head, just managing to grab her handbag as she leaves the flat, slamming the door behind her.

She doesn’t expect him to come after her, so she gives herself two seconds to compose herself, leaning against the wall for support, before heading off to the closest safe place she knows.

Matt’s.

She hammers on his door and almost falls through it as he opens it, barely able to take in the surprise written all over his face.

She throws herself at him, dropping her bag and wrapping her arms around him, burying her face in his chest as she finally lets her emotions pour out.

“Alex?” his voice is soft and calm, especially compared to Ralph’s, and she automatically feels a hundred times safer. He waddles them backwards a little, into the hallway, closing the front door before wrapping his strong arms around her, one hand stroking through her hair as he soothes her.

“I’m sorry,” she sniffs eventually, wiping her eyes and finally glancing up at him. “Thank you.”

“What’s the matter, Alex? What happened?” he ducks his head to look her in the eye, cupping her jaw gently and raising her face to his as she tries to look away.

She winces.

He pulls back suddenly and she flinches again at the horror in his eyes.

“Where is he?” He flings the front door open again, half expecting Ralph to be on the other side. “I’ll kill him.”

“Matt, no,” she reaches for him tentatively, “he didn’t mean to. I-I upset him. It’s nothing, really.”

He spins to face her, letting the door close behind him. “It’s not nothing, Alex, if he _hit_ you.”

Her hand subconsciously moves to the place he’d struck her, and Matt softens. He steps closer, peeling her hand carefully from her face and cupping her cheek gently in his warm hand. She watches the pained expression in his eyes as he checks her for damage, before he lets out a deep breath and kisses her on the forehead, releasing her.

“I’m fine,” she says with more confidence than she feels.

He nods as he steps away. She can tell he doesn’t believe her.

“Would you like a drink?” He asks and she’s very thankful he’s changing the topic.

“Oh, god yes,” she smiles and hops up beside him in the little kitchenette.

“Or perhaps, we should just have a day of chocolate and movies, snuggled up on the sofa, then go out and get absolutely wasted tonight?”

“That sounds even better,” she grins. Matt always knew how to cheer her up.

Matt chuckles as he hands her a jumbo size Cadbury dairy milk bar; he’s had hiding at the back of his cupboard for just such an emergency, and watches her bounce off into the living area with it. Promptly following her with two glasses of milk; he knows how much she likes milk with her chocolate, and a Bridget Jones dvd.

They spend the day lounging around, watching both Bridget Jones movies, Sister Act, Disney’s Tangled; and he even manages to get Robin Hood in there – but only ‘cause Alex likes the way Cate Blanchett plays Maid Marian. The chocolate is devoured and they skip lunch, opting to order Chinese for dinner while Alex allows Matt to catch up on the football highlights.

It’s a good day.

One of the most happy and relaxed days she’s had in a long time.

She never feels this good around Ralph, but then, he’s not a friend like Matt, he’s just her boyfriend and it’s not the same thing. But is that right? Is that how it’s supposed to be? Or should couples be friends too? Maybe what she has with Matt is what she should have with a boyfriend. But then what does that make Ralph?

“A douchebag,” Matt says grumpily from his place next to her on the sofa.

“Pardon?”

“Ralph, is a douchebag.”

“I – Did I say that out loud?”

“I don’t know what else you were mumbling about but I heard you say ‘What does that make Ralph?’”

She giggles. “And you think he’s a ‘douchebag’?”

“I do.”

“I think all that chocolate’s gone to your head.”

“I think _you’ve_ gone to my head.”

She sucks in a sharp breath at that. It wasn’t completely unexpected, she knows he likes her, they’re really close friends. She likes him too, but Ralph asked her out before anyone else had a chance. So who knows what he really thinks of her.

“I also think,” he continues as he sits upright and heaves himself to his feet, “that we should go out and get drunk and totally forget about that bastard.”

She smiles and nods, taking his proffered hand as she gets up. “Just gimme a sec,” she asks as she scurries into his bathroom with her handbag.

Twenty minutes later, wearing a dress borrowed from one of his roommates and a little light make-up to cover the bruise now forming on her cheekbone, she saunters into the hall where Matt awaits her.

“Nice outfit, Kingston,” he chuckles as he takes in her half laced black converses with the sexy red dress.

“Glad you approve,” she giggles before looping her arm through his and heading out into the night.

They get back around 3am, giggling and staggering until they fall into bed, side by side and pass out, exhausted and drunk and happy.

It’s not until the morning that she even gives Ralph a second thought.

She wakes up to the sunlight streaming through the window and an arm over her waist.

She freezes instantly.

A horror creeps up her spine at the thought of Ralph with his hands on her and she feels her heart rate pick up and her palms begin to sweat.

Then she hears a groan as the man behind her rolls over, his arm leaving her in favour of shielding his eyes from the glare from the window.

She giggles as she realises it’s only Matt and a warm feeling steals over her as she rolls to face him.

Her heart rate picks up for a totally different reason then; Matt looks amazing in the mornings. His hair is sticking out at all odd angles and his face is crumpled from sleep, but the sheets have shuffled down a little and she can appreciate his lean chest and stomach and hipbones before her eyes meet the hem of his jeans.

That’s when she realises she’s only in her underwear – sans bra – since she must have taken her dress off at some point in the night. Guess it wasn’t very comfortable to sleep in. She hurriedly yanks the duvet up over her chest before he notices.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he smiles as he cracks an eye open to greet her.

“Good morning, yourself,” she beams, hiding happily under the covers.

“Did you sleep alright?”

She nods shyly.

He reaches out a steady hand and delicately runs his fingers over her bruised cheek, frowning in disapproval.

She covers his hand with hers before turning her face and dropping a thankful kiss to his palm. “It doesn’t hurt,” she assures him.

“He shouldn’t have hit you,” he replies stubbornly.

“He was upset.”

“Why?”

“Because I stopped him,” she releases his hand and buries herself further under the covers.

“Stopped him from doing what...?”

“I don’t think you really want to know...”

“You’re right, I don’t. But tell me anyway.”

She heaves a great sigh before rolling onto her back and facing the ceiling. “I decided to let him – you know – so I told myself I wouldn’t stop him this time. I let him go further than he’s ever gone before...”

“Oh, Alex...”

“Let me finish,” she gives him a look before returning her attention to the ceiling. “I didn’t let _him_ finish.”

“Did you let him start?” Matt suddenly sits up.

“Well, no, not really.”

He seems to sigh with relief at that, lowering himself down to prop his head up on his elbow.

“I stopped him. But then he tried forcing me. And he was saying these crude things and I just didn’t like it...”

“He tried forcing you?” she sees the horror in his eyes once more and closes her own.

“He wouldn’t have really,” she tells herself as much as she tells him, “I mean, he barely even touched me. He’d never force himself on me.”

“Are you sure?”

She stays silent.

She’s not sure.

If he’d have asked her that when they were at coffee then yes, she’d say he’d never do something like that. But after yesterday morning... maybe he would have. He certainly _could_ have, if he wanted to, she’s not that strong and is only small. The thought frightens her, but Matt seems to notice.

“Don’t worry, Alex. You’re here now. He can’t get you.” He tucks a stray curl behind her ear and strokes the back of his fingers down her cheek and across her jaw.

She has the sudden urge to kiss him.

So she does.

He pulls back almost immediately.

“Sorry,” she retreats back under the duvet again.

“Are you?”

“No.”

He smiles and shuffles down so he’s at eye level with her before cupping her jaw and kissing her. It’s soft and gentle; his lips caressing hers. She’s not been kissed like that before. Especially not by Ralph; even when he’s trying to be gentle, he’s still demanding.

He pulls back all too soon and they try to gauge each others’ reactions.

They giggle.

Matt makes her happy. She knows now. If Ralph had never been an option, she’d probably be with _him_ now, instead, and suddenly that feels like the best idea in the world. She doesn’t want to be with Ralph. She wants to be with Matt. She’ll never be ready to sleep with Ralph; especially when it means losing her virginity. But with Matt, she could. She can see herself giving herself to him willingly. She wouldn’t be losing anything; she’d be gaining the best friendship possible.

“Kiss me again?” she asks shyly.

“Alex...?”

“Please?”

He pecks her on the lips.

It’s not enough.

“Not like that,” she levers herself up and slightly over him, “like this...” before bending her head and kissing him properly. His tongue doesn’t probe at her lips like Ralph’s, he doesn’t try to force his way inside or nip her tongue and lips. He just kisses her. Slow and gentle and sweet and she never wants it to stop.

Until she feels something against her hip that makes her go hot and cold all over.

She gasps. Pulling back and looking questioningly into Matt’s eyes.

“Oh god, Alex, I’m sorry,” he gently manoeuvres her off him and rolls onto his back, squeezing his eyes closed in embarrassment.

The shock soon wears off and she giggles, biting her lip in amusement.

“It’s not funny, Alex,” he stares at her, “You’ve come to me as a friend, for me to help you out in a hard – I mean – difficult time...” she bursts out laughing at that, “and here I am kissing you and getting a hard on and I’m really sorry. It happens in the mornings...”

She stops laughing then. “So, are you trying to say that _that_ ,” she eyes his trousers pointedly, “has nothing to do with me?”

“No! Well, yes... I mean, no it has nothing... um... I don’t know what to say.”

“Just tell me the truth, Matt, I’ve heard too many lies from Ralph, I don’t need any more.”

“Then yes,” he replies quietly, unable to look her in the eye, “it may have had something to do with you.”

She bites her lip as she drags herself closer to him, not letting go of the duvet over her chest. “Matt?” Her voice is quiet.

“I like you Alex, you must know that.”

She nods slowly, eyes searching his.

“And I don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re in a state...”

“You won’t be.”

“I shouldn’t have kissed you...”

“I asked you to. And I kissed you first, remember?”

“Alex...”

“Matt, please?”

“I don’t know what to do, I’m sorry.”

“Just kiss me,” she leans over him once more, coaxing him back into her arms with soft, sweet kisses and he soon follows her.

She manages to drag him almost on top of her before he pulls back, breathless.

“No, Alex, we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Ralph? You?”

“What about me?”

“You’re still a... I can’t do that to you, Alex.”

“What if I want you to?”

“What about Ralph?”

“I don’t give a shit about Ralph. It’s over between us. He can go hang for all I care. I want _you_.”

“But, Alex, you’re not ready.”

“I am...”

“You were just saying, how you and Ralph...”

“Please don’t mention him again. I know, I wasn’t ready with him, but I am with you. It’s what I want.”

“Alex...”

“Please? Matt, I want this. I want you. You’re such a good friend. You’re more than a friend really and I can’t believe I couldn’t see that from the beginning. You’ve always been there for me, whenever I need you, no questions asked. We have so much fun together and get along really well and like the same things. It’s ridiculous that I’ve let my relationship with Ralph go on this long when I have you right in front of me...”

He cuts her off then, kissing her with all his might. It’s still gentle and caring, not demanding or rough. It makes her want him even more.

“Please Matt. Please touch me.”

“Are you sure, Alex? ‘Cause I have honestly wanted to be this close to you ever since I met you, but I can wait. If you have any doubts? If you’re not quite ready? I don’t mind...”

“You are so good to me, Matt. Why did I not see it before?”

“I care a great deal about you, Alex.”

“I care about you, too.”

He strokes a few unruly curls from her forehead before kissing her there, then delicately on the bruise on her cheek and she whimpers, wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing his lips to her own.

“Please, Matt? Please?” She pulls the duvet from between them and the skin of their chests meets as she kisses him desperately.

“I don’t want to crush you...”

“You won’t,” she insists as she pulls him further over her, and he settles his hips between her legs.

He lifts himself over her on his elbows as he gazes into her eyes. “You’re beautiful, Alex,” he whispers and her breath catches in her throat. She tries to read his face as he allows himself to glance down between them, smiling at the adoration in his eyes as he takes her in. “So, so beautiful.” She kisses him again. She can’t get enough of him. This is it. She is so sure. She’s never been this sure of anything her entire life. She wasn’t even this sure about going to RADA. She wants him. And she wants him now.

She wraps her legs around his jean clad hips and cups his face in her hands before raking her fingers through his hair. Oh god, he’s beautiful too. She just wants to hold him close, so close, climb under his skin until they become one person.

“Please touch me, darling,” she breathes by his ear and feels him shiver.

He looks down at her again before raising a hand slowly to her cheek, running it tenderly down her jaw and neck, then lightly across her chest – watching as he goes – until he reaches a dusky nipple, which he circles leisurely, four, five times before brushing his thumb over the pert nub causing her to gasp.

“Are you alright?” he asks, his hand pausing in action.

“Fine,” she nods and smiles, breathing shakily.

“We don’t have to do this. I can stop...”

“No!” she shakes her head vehemently, “No, darling, please don’t stop.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Please?”

“Okay,” his fingers start circling her other nipple, “but if you want me to stop at any point, just say so, and I will.” He stops his movements and looks at her pointedly when she doesn’t reply.

“Yes. Okay, I will. Thank you.” She nods, reaching a kind hand up to his cheek. He turns his head and kisses her palm before his hand starts moving on her chest again.

He repeats the same action over and over, showering each breast with the same attention until she becomes restless and needy beneath his hands.

“I’m not going any further until you show me you honestly want more,” he reminds her and she sighs harshly, although she really is thankful he’s taking it slow and letting her stay in control.

She lifts her head and pecks him on the lips in thanks before snaking her hands down between them and fiddling with the fastening on his belt. She frowns, her tongue between her teeth, in concentration as she tries to work it open while he continues caressing her breasts.

“Oh,” she huffs, “stop playing with my boobs and help me, will you?”

He lets out an indignant squeak at that. “I am not ‘playing with your boobs’, Alex...”

She looks at him pointedly, then her chest and his hands, and then him again.

“Alright, so I am, but that’s not the way I’d put it...”

“So, what way would you put it?” she smiles as he takes over with his belt and flies, shuffling his jeans off when she gestures for him to do so.

“I would say I’m... I dunno... stroking your, um, breasts... no that doesn’t sound good either...”

“Well, it _does_...” she begs to differ.

“I mean,” he huffs, “it’s like saying I’m _fucking_ you, when actually, I’m _making love_...”

“Which are we doing?”

“Well, neither at the moment...”

“Matt...” she warns, “which are we about to do?”

“Do you even have to ask that question, Alex?” he looks at her seriously as he twirls a curl around his finger. She sucks in a sharp breath. “ _If_ we get there, I’ll be making love to you.”

“Matt,” she whimpers.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Oh god,” she breathes against his lips before kissing him. She runs her hands down his back and over his arse, slipping them under the waistband of his boxers, pulling his hips into her and making him moan. She can feel his hard length nudge against her through the fabric of their underwear and it sends a hot thrill up her spine. She brings her hands back out and buries them back in his hair. They’re safe there. They won’t do anything she’s not ready for. God, she wants him, but she’s terrified.

“You okay?”

“Mmmhmm,” she nods, biting her lip.

“You sure? You look worried...”

“I’m a little scared but...”

“Then let’s not do this now...”

“No! Please? I want to. Matt, I really want to. I’m always going to be a little nervous, it’s my first time, but I _do_ want it, honestly I do. I promise I’ll tell you if I want you to stop. Please? I trust you. And I think I... umm... wait, never mind. Forget that last part.”

“What? Alex, what were you going to say?”

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter. Please? Can we just...?”

“It does matter. What is it? You know you can tell me anything.”

She worries her bottom lip and shakes her head.

“Alex...?”

“I’ll tell you after.”

“After?”

“Yeah, after we’ve – you know – please?”

“God,” he drops his head to her shoulder, “I love you, Alex, but I don’t think I can do this...”

“You what?” she gasps, eyes wide.

“I can’t do this to you...”

“No. Before that? You said... did you say you _love_ me?”

He nods. “I love you.”

A smiles crawls across her face. “Then I don’t have to wait ‘til afterwards...”

“What?”

“I love you, too.”

“You do?”

“It’s what I was about to say – and I think I love you – but then I backtracked ‘cause I didn’t want to scare you away.”

“Oh, Alex, you silly goose,” he kisses her.

“I’m not a goose,” she says stubbornly.

“No,” he giggles, “you most certainly are not.”

They kiss and giggle and whisper a while until Matt’s hands wander and she feels him stroke tender fingers up and down the outside and inside of her thigh.

“Matt, please touch me. I am _so_ more than ready for you now,” she whimpers, raising her hips to his hand.

On his next stroke up the inside of her thigh, he keeps going and she gasps as he brushes against her sex through the lace.

“Are you sure?” he whispers by her ear before kissing her behind it. She shivers at the tingly warmth she feels and nods, turning her head to kiss him on the lips.

His hands hook under the elastic of her knickers and he drags them down her legs before throwing them across the room and crawling back over her carefully. She parts her legs and welcomes him between them, weaving her fingers through his hair and keeping him close. His right hand tentatively makes its way through tight curls and he soothes her with kisses, keeping her calm as he explores her delicately.

She jumps occasionally as his fingers slip over her clit, and rolls her hips eagerly as he rubs them through her folds, moaning and whimpering into the soft caress of his mouth. He takes it slowly, easing her into it and coaxing her arousal. It’s a long while before he moves his fingers to her entrance, but he circles them there for a time, until she starts getting restless, before slowly, gently, pressing one inside her.

She gasps and breaks away from his kiss.

“Are you alright?” he pauses in his movements, ready to stop if she needs him to.

“Mmm, yes,” she nods hesitantly, “I’m... I’m fine.”

“We can stop?”

“No! Keep going, it feels good.” She scrapes her nails lightly across his scalp, loving the purr he lets slip, before kissing him again. But he pulls back from it after a second and watches her as he presses inside her once more.

A heat floods her body at the sensation and she whimpers as he moves his finger in and out of her.

Gradually, the feeling becomes less foreign and she enjoys it, encouraging him further. He takes his finger out and sucks on it before replacing it and carefully adding a second. Her sharp intake of breath causes him to halt, but she shakes her head and wraps her hand around his wrist, persuading him to continue.

He keeps moving his hand inside her, smoothly, tenderly, lovingly, bending down to kiss her, to check she’s still alright. And steadily her breathing increases. Her heart rate speeds up and she feels a heat blush from her toes to her ears. She clings on to his biceps as the strange new feeling overwhelms her, whimpering and moaning and rocking her hips in encouragement. It feels good. She’s not felt it before but it definitely feels good and she doesn’t want him to stop.

Ever.

“Matt,” she whimpers.

“You’re alright, Alex,” he breathes, kissing her once more, “just tell me if you want me to stop.”

“No. Don’t stop,” she pants, before the fire takes over and races through her body; she gasps and throws her head back, digging her nails into his arms, and shaking all over. He gently removes his fingers from her and she comes down from her high, gulping in air and eyes glazed. “Wow.”

Matt chuckles as he licks his fingers clean. “I could say the same thing.”

“What was...? That was amazing? I’ve never felt anything like that before.”

“Mmm,” he nods, “You do know what that was, Alex.”

“Was that an orgasm?”

“Everyone experiences them differently, but I believe so.”

“Does it feel like that for you? When you orgasm?”

“Err,” he chuckles, “I’m not sure. Probably not, but I assure you it’s just as good.”

“Okay, it’s your turn,” she states stubbornly, “How do I do that to you?”

“Oh ho, Alex, no,” he shakes his head, encouraging her to lie back down. “Let me just take care of you, sweetheart.”

“You just did,” she purrs.

“Well, yeah okay, but that was just the beginning...”

“You mean there’s more?”

“Um, yeah, there’s...” he looks down himself at his proud erection and then back to Alex, laughing at the twinkle in her eye. “You know there’s more.”

“Of course. I’m not that naive – I’ve just never...” she looks down at the bulge in his boxers and gulps.

“You don’t have to, Alex, if you’re not ready.”

“I know I don’t have to, darling. I want to. If that was anything to go by, I think I’m going to rather like sex.”

He beams. “Well, don’t get your hopes up, ‘cause the first time is always painful.”

“Yeah I’ve heard that, but you didn’t hurt me just now...”

“I’m rather bigger than my fingers, Alex. But I’m gentle...”

“I know you are.”

“Are you sure you want to do this.”

“I’m positive.”

He studies her carefully for a moment, gauging her, trying to catch her out, but she holds his gaze and is determined this is what she wants to do.

“Okay,” he smiles, “in there are some condoms, pick a colour,” he nods towards the bedside drawer and she scrambles to attention while he shuffles out of his boxers. “How did I guess you’d pick dark blue,” he giggles as she holds the foil packet delicately between her thumb and forefinger.

He kisses her as he takes it off her.

She watches him with rapt attention as he tears it open and rolls it over himself. He’s right; he is bigger than his fingers. And although he didn’t hurt her before, it was a surprise. And she’s always been told the first time hurts. Hence why she’d been so resistant to letting Ralph have his way with her; she’s sure if she’d let him it would have hurt a hell of a lot more than it’s about to with Matt.

“You ready?” he pulls her from her reverie.

She takes a deep breath to calm herself. “Yes,” she nods and then bites her lip as she settles into the pillow on her back.

“You sure?”

“Yes!” she insists and pulls him down to her for another kiss, and while she’s distracted he takes himself in hand and positions himself at her entrance before ever so slowly pushing in.

She gasps immediately, grabbing his shoulders and he resists the urge to just pull out and stop.

“You okay?” he pauses instead.

“Mmmhmm,” she worries her bottom lip, her eyes darting between his. “Keep going.”

He does. Very slowly. Inch by agonising inch he gradually sinks inside her. She feels amazing; like coming home. He always knew she would.

She can feel herself stretching around him. A new, not entirely unpleasant feeling. It hurts a little, but to be honest, she was expecting worse. She’s so glad it’s Matt though, not Ralph – god, she doesn’t want to think about him while she’s here, right now – Ralph would have hurt her, he wouldn’t have been slow and gentle, just taking what he wants whenever he wants it. She’s so glad she’s finally found sense; found Matt.

Matt pauses again once he’s seated fully inside her and he kisses her softly as he allows her to adjust.

“How are you doing?” he asks kindly.

“Wonderfully,” she sighs. It doesn’t hurt anymore, there’s just a dull ache where her muscles are adjusting, but she’s definitely ready for him. So she tells him so.

He ever so carefully pulls back until he is almost out of her, before slowly pushing back inside.

She knows it must be agony for him to be going so slowly, but she loves him all the more for it. He’s taking care of her, and it makes her want to cry with joy and relief.

He pulls out and pushes in again, a tiny bit faster this time and she moans at the amazing sensations it causes deep within her.

“You like that, do you?” he smiles fondly.

“Oh yes,” she breathes, “it does feel good.”

“I’m glad.”

“You can go a little faster, darling,” she feels bad for him, having to go slow for her, she’s sure she can take a bit more.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. I’ll tell you if you do and we can slow down again.”

“If you’re sure...”

“I’m sure,” she wraps her arms around his neck and loses herself in kissing him.

He does speed up, but only a little, causing a smooth friction that slowly builds up a simmer under her skin. She lifts a leg over his hip to see what happens, changing the angle and subsequently sending him deeper and she gasps.

“Sorry!”

“No, I’m fine,” she shakes her head, “just wasn’t expecting it.”

“You moved your leg,” he chastises.

“I know,” she giggles.

“You’re going to be so much fun.”

“I already am, darling.”

“This is true,” he brushes his nose with hers and changes the angle of his thrusts so that his pelvis rubs against her clit with each stroke. She moans as the fire rages inside her once more and squeezes her eyes shut, scratching her nails down his back and shuddering as she comes once more.

Matt soon follows her, shouting her name into her neck as his thrusts become hard and erratic.

Alex cries out in unexpected pain just as he comes and he hurriedly pulls out of her as soon as he can see straight again.

“I’m sorry, Alex, are you alright? Did I hurt you?”

“No, no darling, I’m fine. It just got a bit intense at the end there.”

“I’m sorry,” he drops his head to her shoulder and kisses her there before finding her lips.

“I’m fine. No harm done. That was amazing, once again,” she giggles.

“Was for me too,” he admits, “my god, Kingston, you’ll be the death of me.”

“Oh it can’t have been that good, I’ve never done it before, I had no idea what to do...”

“Doesn’t matter,” he says solemnly, “you were incredible.”

She beams and kisses him once more before he levers himself off her and disposes of the condom.

“Can we do that again tomorrow,” she asks shyly as she snuggles into his side, pillowing her head on his shoulder.

He chuckles happily, “of course. If you’re sure you’re up for it.”

“Oh, definitely.”

“You may be a little sore...”

“I’m sure I can cope.”

“You liked it then?”

“Oh yes, it was so much better than I expected. I can see why people say they enjoy sex.”

“Alex, it hurt you, and it didn’t last long – if that beat your expectations and you actually _enjoyed_ it then I can’t wait ‘til tomorrow when I can start to show you what it should really feel like to have sex.”

“You mean, it gets better?”

“It most certainly does get better, Alex, and I’m sure you’re going to become insatiable.”

“I sure hope so,” she bites her lip, glancing down at him before kissing him again. She can’t get enough of him. She’s so glad she did this. Then it hits her; she’s no longer a virgin. But she’s over the moon about it. If it had been Ralph she was lying with right now, she’d feel like he’d stolen something from her, but with Matt, she feels like she’s been given a precious gift and she is never going to give it away.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos are wonderful and comments even better! :) x


End file.
